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Old May 15th, 2012, 10:49 PM
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Default On being offended.

I say and do things that make some people mad. It's well known. Happens regularly, I'm told.

I am a brash, no shivagiter High Plains Texan. And as such I truly am liberated in that, I really, really don't care what people think of me. No, really. I spend no time at all concerned with other people's opinion of me, or what I do and say. It's simply not a concern of mine. It's the way we are here in this unique part of the country.

On the other hand, the whole concept of being offended or angered has really been twisted the last couple of decades, and here's my take on it.

I am not responsible if you are offended. No one is, except yourself.

"Huh? But.... But... They PISSED ME OFF!" - You might say or be thinking.

No.

They did or said the thing, but you still had the power to choose if you were going to be offended or not.

Did they somehow rob you of your free will? Of course not.

If I am angered or offended, it's strictly on me because I made the choice to be angered or offended. Same for you. You made that choice.

You have the same option to choose not to be offended, or angered, whatever it is.

They do the thing, what you do after that is on you.

And that's the memo.
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Old May 16th, 2012, 01:26 PM
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I'm with you.

Like untold numbers of other people, I used to spend a lot of brain power thinking about what other people thought...how they felt about what I said or wrote, what they thought of me, how I might control what they thought of me (and this isn't just about wanting people to think WELL of me..it extends to brashness and outspokenness...there is a certain amount of vanity involved in being out there).

As I've aged, I've found that the really fascinating journey we make in our lives has nothing to do with what other people think of us, or gaining friends or social status or recognition or even acceptance. Like you said, we have no control over that (well very little). People are going to think what they're going to think, and say what they're going to say about us. What is challenging, and what leads to personal growth, is adjusting our behavior according to what WE think.

It's just a slight shift of focus...but it's far reaching in consequences.

For me, it was about just moving my sites from other people, to God. I'm a lifelong Christian, but that didn't happen overnight, and it is continuing to happen. It's about examining myself, and recognizing my own failures and then adjusting my behavior/thoughts/practices to address those things, to make me a better Christian and a better person...and it has nothing at all to do with what other people think of anything. It's all in my head...like a competetition with myself.

The result is I'm much more natural in all my dealings with people. I no longer care if people are watching me and judging me or listening to me and approving of me. I'm completely comfortable all the time, regardless of the circumstance, because I am behaving according to a code of conduct that I approve of, and I answer to nobody but God.

I'm still outgoing, gregarious, opinionated. I'm not quite so vocal about it, because I don't need the feedback anymore. But when I'm asked or when it's appropriate, I'm not ashamed of my beliefs, my opinions, or my thoughts.

And if people don't think I'm cool, or they think I'm backward, or they think whatever they think about me, meh, who gives a rip. I'm joyful, happy in my life, and don't waste my time on mind games. Generally speaking, the people who have a problem with me (I don't know who they are because I just don't pay that close attention, and I don't ask)...probably aren't.
  #3  
Old May 16th, 2012, 01:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AllieBaba View Post
I'm with you.

Like untold numbers of other people, I used to spend a lot of brain power thinking about what other people thought...how they felt about what I said or wrote, what they thought of me, how I might control what they thought of me (and this isn't just about wanting people to think WELL of me..it extends to brashness and outspokenness...there is a certain amount of vanity involved in being out there).

As I've aged, I've found that the really fascinating journey we make in our lives has nothing to do with what other people think of us, or gaining friends or social status or recognition or even acceptance. Like you said, we have no control over that (well very little). People are going to think what they're going to think, and say what they're going to say about us. What is challenging, and what leads to personal growth, is adjusting our behavior according to what WE think.

It's just a slight shift of focus...but it's far reaching in consequences.

For me, it was about just moving my sites from other people, to God. I'm a lifelong Christian, but that didn't happen overnight, and it is continuing to happen. It's about examining myself, and recognizing my own failures and then adjusting my behavior/thoughts/practices to address those things, to make me a better Christian and a better person...and it has nothing at all to do with what other people think of anything. It's all in my head...like a competetition with myself.

The result is I'm much more natural in all my dealings with people. I no longer care if people are watching me and judging me or listening to me and approving of me. I'm completely comfortable all the time, regardless of the circumstance, because I am behaving according to a code of conduct that I approve of, and I answer to nobody but God.

I'm still outgoing, gregarious, opinionated. I'm not quite so vocal about it, because I don't need the feedback anymore. But when I'm asked or when it's appropriate, I'm not ashamed of my beliefs, my opinions, or my thoughts.

And if people don't think I'm cool, or they think I'm backward, or they think whatever they think about me, meh, who gives a rip. I'm joyful, happy in my life, and don't waste my time on mind games. Generally speaking, the people who have a problem with me (I don't know who they are because I just don't pay that close attention, and I don't ask)...probably aren't.
The bolded is quite profound and you put it in a way that really speaks to the "heart" of what I am saying.

The phrase, "perception is reality" is such bullshit, I don't even understand how that nonsense became accepted. Perception is NOT reality.

Perception is also something we cannot control, ever - so there's no upside of even trying. If people spent those wasted efforts and energies trying to control or change perceptions of them on themselves instead of others perceptions, there's no telling what they could accomplish.

And without doubt, they would feel alot better about themselves than they ever could, worrying, hand-wringing and fretting about what others think of them.

I feel fortunate that it's not something I ever wasted any time with.
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Old May 16th, 2012, 02:17 PM
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Perception is reality...pffft, lol.

I'm on a Kinsey kick. I will attribute that idiocy to Kinsey at this point in time because it suits my purposes....
  #5  
Old May 16th, 2012, 02:46 PM
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As I become more Cat-like in my world view I find I am offended by people not ordering their lives to fulfill all my desires. Be about it people, your CAT demands obedience from lesser animals.
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“I think it’s unfair. We voted for Hillary Clinton, but it is Trump who won. It is unfair,” Heloïse said.
Gentlemen, he said I don't need your organization, I've shined your shoes
I've moved your mountains and marked your cards
But Eden is burning either brace yourself for elimination
Or else your hearts must have the courage for the changing of the guards.

Last edited by walruskkkch; May 16th, 2012 at 02:47 PM.
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Old May 16th, 2012, 03:08 PM
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Old May 16th, 2012, 03:41 PM
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Barry never ate pussies in his life! Take that back!
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“I think it’s unfair. We voted for Hillary Clinton, but it is Trump who won. It is unfair,” Heloïse said.
Gentlemen, he said I don't need your organization, I've shined your shoes
I've moved your mountains and marked your cards
But Eden is burning either brace yourself for elimination
Or else your hearts must have the courage for the changing of the guards.
  #8  
Old May 16th, 2012, 04:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Midnight Marauder View Post
I say and do things that make some people mad. It's well known. Happens regularly, I'm told.

I am a brash, no shivagiter High Plains Texan. And as such I truly am liberated in that, I really, really don't care what people think of me. No, really. I spend no time at all concerned with other people's opinion of me, or what I do and say. It's simply not a concern of mine. It's the way we are here in this unique part of the country.

On the other hand, the whole concept of being offended or angered has really been twisted the last couple of decades, and here's my take on it.

I am not responsible if you are offended. No one is, except yourself.

"Huh? But.... But... They PISSED ME OFF!" - You might say or be thinking.

No.

They did or said the thing, but you still had the power to choose if you were going to be offended or not.

Did they somehow rob you of your free will? Of course not.

If I am angered or offended, it's strictly on me because I made the choice to be angered or offended. Same for you. You made that choice.

You have the same option to choose not to be offended, or angered, whatever it is.

They do the thing, what you do after that is on you.

And that's the memo.
Lived in Mexico.....er I mean Texas for awhile.....Not unique just big and God awful hot.....
  #9  
Old May 16th, 2012, 04:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by walruskkkch View Post
Barry never ate pussies in his life! Take that back!
Might explain why Michelle is such a uptight women.
  #10  
Old May 16th, 2012, 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Thanatos144 View Post
Lived in Mexico.....er I mean Texas for awhile.....Not unique just big and God awful hot.....
Depends on where. It ain't like Ohio where everything is the same wherever you go. I live in the Llano Estacado, the "high" country part. The rest of it is sea level or near it.

And it is quite unique.
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