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Why do I have to call widows anyway? - Redneck Clubhouse - Of, By and For Rednecks!

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Old October 20th, 2017, 06:57 AM
Dotard Drumpf Dotard Drumpf is offline
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Default Why do I have to call widows anyway?

I'm thinking about dropping this practice. Let me know what you think. I mean really, everyone acts like these guys are war heroes because they got killed. I like combat veterans who don't get killed, ok? And to be clear, I didn't tell that woman that her son knew what he was signing up for, believe me. It was great to see General Kelly defending me yesterday. Like he said, I told that woman her son knew what he was signing up for. She must have been bleeding from her wherever and been in a bad mood when I called, she tried to twist it and claim I said something I did say. Then the fake news ran with the story, even though they knew I didn't say what I said, and believe me I have proof that I didn't say what I said. They better hope their aren't tapes, right?

So anyway, I Dotard J. Drumpf have decided to temporarily suspend all troop deaths while we review the process of informing the families. We're considering the following options.
  1. Ignore them. That way they can't claim I said something I said.
  2. Amazon gift card for $25,000.
  3. Strippergrams. I think the news would be much easier to take if it were delivered by a beautiful woman with huge cans.
  4. A 30 day trial membership to a Trump resort of their choice. They would, of course, be able to opt out of the annual recurring membership fees if they act within 5 minutes of receiving the notification.

So, what do you rednecks think? Let me know because I really have to do something about these nagging women and I don't want to seem insensitive to whatever the hell their issue is.
  #2  
Old October 20th, 2017, 09:39 AM
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walruskkkch walruskkkch is offline
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Humor scale 1- 10, about a 1.5. Sorry son, you're slipping. Humor needs a light touch and not to seem so hatefully partisan. Unless that is what you are going for. Keep Plugging!
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Old October 20th, 2017, 03:38 PM
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Anyone remember when Hillary visited the Benghazi victim families and promised them they'd get the terrible, nasty youtube filmmaker who'd killed all those brave men? Good times...
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Old October 20th, 2017, 03:59 PM
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And of course Obama missed most of those anyway, but he had a good excuse, his foursome was up on the First Tee.
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Quote:
“I think it’s unfair. We voted for Hillary Clinton, but it is Trump who won. It is unfair,” Heloïse said.
Gentlemen, he said I don't need your organization, I've shined your shoes
I've moved your mountains and marked your cards
But Eden is burning either brace yourself for elimination
Or else your hearts must have the courage for the changing of the guards.
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Old October 21st, 2017, 01:10 AM
Dotard Drumpf Dotard Drumpf is offline
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I thought you guys were supporters. Can you kindly stop mentioning Benghazi in relation to this action where I sent men into a hostile zone without backup and took 2 days to fly someone in there to retrieve the dead bodies? With friends like you... am I right?

Anyhow, we know the fake news is biased. They don't want to point out how every single person I had in the room listening in on the call remarked about how inappropriate it was for the widow to have people listening in on the call, so they're certainly not going to point out what Obama didn't do.
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Old October 21st, 2017, 11:20 AM
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You really have no idea how the military works, do you? You also have not figured out that we really are not impressed with your situational righteousness deployed without regard to any supporting logic or principled reasoning.
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“I think it’s unfair. We voted for Hillary Clinton, but it is Trump who won. It is unfair,” Heloïse said.
Gentlemen, he said I don't need your organization, I've shined your shoes
I've moved your mountains and marked your cards
But Eden is burning either brace yourself for elimination
Or else your hearts must have the courage for the changing of the guards.
  #7  
Old October 21st, 2017, 11:36 AM
Dotard Drumpf Dotard Drumpf is offline
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No, I don't have any idea how the military works. I successfully avoided a crash course on the inner workings of the military when I dodged the draft in Vietnam. Whew! That was a close one. If I hadn't been successful in avoiding fighting for America, I might never have had the chance to fight for America. In fact, the only thing I know about the military is that it's inappropriate to question a 4 star general, which is why I hired so many of them, and that I know more about ISIS than the Generals do. They agree with that btw if you ask them, which you can't because that would be inappropriate, but believe me they know it.
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