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#1
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I really have to say, it's an honor to have me here on this forum. Let's face it, this place doesn't get the kind of traffic I'm used to, but that's ok. It says rednecks, so I had to join because rednecks love me. People tell me that all the time. It's true, they ask me about it too. They want to know why rednecks love me so much. I mean, who doesn't? Except the fake news. Very fake, the news media is, believe me. They say Dotard, you live in the nicest houses and these guys live in a run down shipping container on the back row of a trailer park. You have your own plane, you travel the world, and you get to meet the most beautiful women and grab them by the pussy. These slobs are lucky if they get to French kiss their sister in the back seat of their pinto, ok? Why do they love you? It's true though, people tell me that all the time. Rednecks love me.
Anyway, enough about you, let's get to know me. I'm the President of the United States. In my spare time I like to kiss beautiful women, mimic retarded people, and troll liberals on twitter. I like to watch CNN and when they say something I don't like, I tweet about it and say "that's why I don't watch them anymore". Now that I'm President and the taxpayers are funding it, I like to go golfing every weekend. It's true, golfing has gotten expensive. Who wants to pay all that money to chase a ball around a golf course, am I right? Of course I am. So I don't have to pay for it now, so it's fun. My likes are me. My dislikes are liberals, conservatives, democrats, republicans, independents, the news media, women, minorities, war heroes that get captured, soldiers who get ptsd, gold star families, people who kneel for the anthem, people who stand for the anthem instead of walking out like I told them to do, and people who play the anthem because it's loud and annoying. So basically, I'm just a chill guy who likes to relax and talk about myself. It's good to meet me, and thank me very much for joining. You look forward to getting to know me.
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#2
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Humor scale 1 to 10, about a 3. But keep on plugging!
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I've moved your mountains and marked your cards But Eden is burning either brace yourself for elimination Or else your hearts must have the courage for the changing of the guards. |
#3
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Hey Dotard, what's your take on Boy Kenya?
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Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth.
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#4
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~yawn~
We used to have a creative and humorous satire dude around here, named John aka "oddball" so you really have a high bar to meet around here, and you're way, way under it.
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Could it be that I could be the cowboy in that mystery who died so long ago in that El Paso sand?
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#5
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![]() The inventor of the Presidential "Me, Myself and I" pattern of speechifying.
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I've moved your mountains and marked your cards But Eden is burning either brace yourself for elimination Or else your hearts must have the courage for the changing of the guards.
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#6
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I may not win the popular joke, but I'll win the joketoral college, believe me.
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#7
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Only if you get the Dead to vote for you. But then again, liberals are pretty good at that.
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![]() Quote:
I've moved your mountains and marked your cards But Eden is burning either brace yourself for elimination Or else your hearts must have the courage for the changing of the guards. |
#8
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Oh, and I don't mean the band. Sorry if there was some confusion.
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![]() Quote:
I've moved your mountains and marked your cards But Eden is burning either brace yourself for elimination Or else your hearts must have the courage for the changing of the guards. |
#9
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Liberals, Boy Kenya town style - the Ungrateful Dead.
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Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth. |
#10
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You know how bad Hillary pissed people off? Even the dead didn't vote for her in most states.
__________________
![]() Quote:
I've moved your mountains and marked your cards But Eden is burning either brace yourself for elimination Or else your hearts must have the courage for the changing of the guards.
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